


turn around

by meowjunhwi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, Unrequited Love, osamu is best brother, watch me pull another rarepair out of rarepair hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 17:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21122183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowjunhwi/pseuds/meowjunhwi
Summary: Shigeru's made a decision and chose Kyoutani, but why does he feel like he wants to turn around and fall right back into Atsumu's arms?





	turn around

**Author's Note:**

> when i said im in seijoh rarepair hell, i am. i honestly thought there works in the miya atsumu/yahaba shigeru tag and i'm so appalled and sad that there isn't anything so i decided to make one, even though it's angst lmao
> 
> this is still inspired by the haikyuu filo rps group on twitter (hello mga haikyuu kuyas!) and i got so attached with shigeru and atsumu being a thing that i can't let go of the possibility of them being together.
> 
> i hope u like it! (and pls ship atsuhaba with me uwu)

Shigeru sits down on the couch in the middle of the small living room in the condominium unit he shares with Atsumu and Osamu, legs pulled up against his chest and his forehead pressed against his knees as he fiddled nervously with his fingers.

He knows he is doing the right thing and he had decided to push through with this ever since he and Kyoutani talked last night. He knows in himself that in the end, even though Kyoutani had hurt him, he would’ve still chosen him.

  
So why was Shigeru nervous? Atsumu would understand, wouldn’t he? What’s there to be afraid of? 

At this point it almost sounds like he is going to break up with him, which technically isn’t wrong but isn’t the right term either.

There was the sound of fumbling from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of a key being inserted in the lock and the doorknob being turned. 

Shigeru raised his head from where it was pressed against his knees and turned around just in time as Atsumu walked through the front door of their shared living area, the frown on his face immediately softening into a smile when his eyes met Shigeru’s.

“Welcome back, ‘Tsumu.” Shigeru said, his voice dripping with warmth at the words that now sat familiar on his tongue after months of living together. 

“Hey.” Atsumu padded over to the couch and placed an arm around Shigeru, about to lean down to give him a proper greeting in the form of a kiss on the lips, which Shigeru would have eagerly accepted before today but now he just turned his head to the side to evade the gesture, momentarily halting Atsumu in his movements. 

The blonde cleared his throat and instead plopped down beside him, throwing his bag on the floor as he stretched his legs in front of him with a sigh, “So? What’s up?” 

Shigeru took a deep breath before he spoke, willing the shakiness out of his voice because damn it, why is he even nervous it’s not that this is such a big deal.

“Kentarou and I talked last night,” Shigeru started, his eyes trained on his hands placed on his lap, “And he asked if we could try again.” 

“And?” Atsumu prompted for him the continue.

“I said yes. We’re together now.” 

Shigeru looked up just in time to see a trace of emotion flicker in Atsumu’s sunshine yellow orbs, before it was blank again as he uttered, “Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I guess that’s why you pulled back from me kissing you, huh.” Atsumu said as he continued to look at Shigeru with those eyes devoid of any emotion that it makes Shigeru want to demand what is going through his mind at this very moment. 

“Yeah. I mean I have a boyfriend now, I shouldn’t go around kissing and sleeping with people that isn't him.” 

“I know, I understand. But Shigeru, are you sure?” 

“100% sure.” 

“You could get hurt again.” 

Shigeru let out a bitter smile, “What’s love without a little bit of pain?” 

Shigeru knows in himself that loving Kyoutani is anything but a little bit of pain. He spent high school pining over someone who he thought felt the same way but at the beginning of his third year he learned that Kyoutani felt nothing but friendship for him. 

And now he’s back again in Shigeru’s life, asking for a chance if he could maybe try to love him, and Shigeru knows it may not go the way he wishes it to be but he will be damned if he wouldn’t try. 

He knows, from one look at Atsumu’s pensive face— the adorable pout on his lips and the slight furrow on his forehead— that the blonde is having the same train of thought as he does, and Shigeru knows just how much Atsumu cares, how he pulls him in for a hug in the evenings where Shigeru would cry buckets of tears because of the pain weighing his heart down as if someone placed an anchor on top of it, how he always makes sure that Shigeru feels better after a rough and stressful night of studying, a breakfast prepared in the morning or a relaxing time on the couch the night after with his favorite fast food ordered and delivered.

Atsumu cares and promised that he would always be there for Shigeru, that he would be there to stay for as long as Shigeru needs him. 

Sometimes, Shigeru wishes he could have just fallen in love with Atsumu, maybe it would have been easier, a lot less painful. 

But the thing is, Atsumu is obviously not Kyoutani Kentarou, and it is a striking fact Shigeru wished he could ignore. 

Atsumu just looks at him with an unreadable gaze and Shigeru feels conscious under those sunshine yellow orbs that he noticed, for a long time now, is a shade lighter than Kyoutani’s, whose eyes are closer to the shade of rustic gold. 

“Okay, then. As long as you’re sure and you’re happy then that’s all that matters.” Atsumu finally said after a long time of silent staring (read: scrutinizing) making Shigeru jump slightly at the sudden sound of his voice. 

“I am happy.” Shigeru reassures Atsumu but it sounds more like he is reassuring himself. 

Atsumu just hums and ruffles his hair with one hand, making Shigeru pout but there was a grin fighting its way on his lips. 

“Thank you, ‘Tsumu.” 

“Anytime. I always got your back remember?” 

Shigeru chuckles softly, “Yeah. And I got yours, too.” 

“Good.” 

There was a minute of awkward silence, one Shigeru never really experience with Atsumu before in their almost one year of friendship, that he struggled to know what to do, but he came up empty because awkwardness and Atsumu don't really go with each other in his book and now that he is in an unfamiliar territory, he did what he did best: run away.

He cleared his throat before saying, “I gotta go. Kentarou and I are going to eat dinner outside. Do you want me to get you something?” 

“Nah, I’m fine. Samu and I are going to eat out tonight too. Something about him finally getting the compensation for winning a bet.” 

Shigeru remembers that bet, remembers Atsumu whining to him about losing and how he consoled Atsumu with kisses while Osamu rolled his eyes at their flirty antics before kicking them out of the unit in fits of giggles as they made their way to the staircase by the elevators which they claimed as a space of their own. 

Shigeru remembers every memory he had from when he started spending time with Atsumu and warmth unfurls from his chest at each one, like a sun shining once again after a whole week of heavy rains and strong winds. 

He smiles at the memory and wishes for Atsumu and Osamu to enjoy the evening as he pulled on his shoes and took his wallet, keys and phone with him as he exited their house.

He remembers a flash of gold in the back of his mind, something more yellow than brown, a shade of gold that reminds him of the sun and the magic flower that heals in one of those Disney movies that Atsumu loves to watch, and as he walks away from him, Shigeru tries to ignore the pull in his chest that asks him to turn around and go home, to take back his words and ask Atsumu to just hold him.

He stops himself from questioning his decision to give Kyoutani a chance, to give their relationship a chance because after all, this is something he waited for for years, something he wished for, something he longed for. Kyoutani finally has his eyes on him and Shigeru would be a fool not to hold on to that little bit of hope. 

So, of course, he wouldn’t regret it right?

But why does it feel like he is about to?

*****

Atsumu waited until Shigeru was out of the door before he let out a heavy sigh, his arm coming up to cover his eyes as he slid lower in his seat and leaned his head against the back of the couch. 

He heard one of the doors in the house squeak open at the hinges, but he ignored it in favor of trying to stop the stubborn tears from flowing down his face. 

He continued to ignore the sounds of shuffling in the kitchen, the sound of the refrigerator being opened, but he couldn’t ignore the cold material pressed against his cheek that made him jump and remove his arm from where it covered his eyes, only to see Osamu with his arm outstretched towards him, a cup of chocolate pudding and a teaspoon in his hand. 

Atsumu sat up and took it, thanked him silently as he opened it and started to eat slowly. Osamu rounded the couch and sat next to him, his presence a silent comfort like it had always been since they were kids. 

“So, I’m guessing you heard everything.” Atsumu said, pulling up his feet and crossing his legs. 

Osamu hummed, “He’s stupid.” 

Atsumu just offered a shrug before bringing another teaspoonful of pudding in his mouth, “Maybe.” 

He can feel Osamu regard him from the side of his eye, knew what words would fall next from his lips, “You’re in love with him.” 

Atsumu chuckles, because of course Osamu knows. They’re twins and they spent their lifetime around each other so of course if anyone knew them well aside from themselves, it is each other. 

“Deeply so.” 

Osamu hummed again, reaching for the remote of the television, “He’s stupid.” 

“Samu, I think you’ve already established that and fairly made your point.” 

“You’re stupid.” 

Atsumu laughs. He knows Osamu means it in a concerned way, “I guess.” 

Osamu opens the hard drive connected to their television and chooses the Disney movies folder for they both know that sad nights meant Disney movie nights and even though Atsumu’s heart aches because of the undeniable pain of unrequited love, he is thankful he has a brother in this world that never fails to look out for him despite their petty fights and arguments. 

It was Shigeru’s decision in the end to be with Kyoutani and all Atsumu could do as his friend is to support him. It hurt, but Atsumu promised to always have his back and even though Shigeru’s eyes aren’t on him he knows that the silver-haired boy would still make good on his promise that he too would be there for Atsumu. 

But sometimes, Atsumu just wishes Shigeru would just choose him. 

That when Shigeru walked out that door, he can’t help but hope he walks back in and falls right back into his arms. Just as he did almost a year from now when they first stumbled into the bed with each other,their lips pressed together in a heated kiss and limbs entangled in a passionate embrace.


End file.
